DEAR DEIDRE
My partner is living with another woman but he makes out I can’t be trusted
He’s living in her house for nothing and has been there for five weeks so far
DEAR DEIDRE: MY partner is insanely jealous of my friends but is now living with another woman who he insists is just a friend.
He’s the one acting suspiciously, yet he treats me like I’m not to be trusted.
Every night he FaceTimes me when I’m in bed. He pretends he just wants to say “goodnight” but I know he’s checking up on me.
He recently met an Australian woman on a gaming site and they started messaging regularly.
I wasn’t happy and then she invited him to come over for a visit. She even offered to pay for the month-long trip.
I was upset but he insisted he only saw her as a friend and that he’d be an idiot to pass up a free, once-in-a-lifetime trip.
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He’s living in her house for nothing and has been there for five weeks so far.
My partner has told me that this woman has admitted she is in love with him, but he claims he’d told her they could only be friends.
But judging by his social media, they look far too cosy.
And yet whenever I question him, he says I’m the untrustworthy one.
Two years ago I went out with friends and got a taxi home with a colleague who happened to be in the same bar.
He lives near me and nothing happened — but my partner is constantly bringing this up.
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He checks up on me at random times and tracks my phone to make sure I’m “safe”.
A few days ago, I didn’t answer his FaceTime as I was having a shower.
He was so angry he threatened to stay in Australia and finish with me.
We’re both 25 and have been together for four years.
I know he’s ridiculously jealous but I love him with all of my heart, and this behaviour needs to stop.
How do I save my relationship?
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: Everything you say is ringing alarm bells.
If this man loved you, he wouldn’t want to hurt you by manipulating you in this way.
You deserve a man who respects you, not someone who thinks it is okay to stay in another woman’s house for a month.
All the indications are that he cannot be trusted, yet he is gaslighting you to deflect attention.
No woman would allow a man who she is in love with to stay in her house if there wasn’t a romance forming.
My support pack Addictive Love can help you see this relationship for what it is.
You can also find help through the National Domestic Abuse Helpline (nationalda helpline.org.uk, Tel: 0808 2000 247).
Abuse isn’t always violence – you can be controlled or abused emotionally. My support pack Abusive Partner will help.